Should I be a Lawyer?

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Should I be a Lawyer: In law school, I loved it. The intense competition in the classroom, the hard coursework, and the adrenaline rush of solving complex cases led me to pursue this career path. Upon achieving the job title of lawyer, I was even more drawn to the fast-paced work environment. I wanted to stand out, make a difference, and find my own niche. I felt empowered and inspired by my work.

I didn’t realize that the same work was also leading me down a path of debilitating burnout.

When I was sitting in my office one afternoon in summer 2020, a feeling of intense fear gripped me. I was trapped in troubling thoughts about my life, my family, and my job. The more I tried to escape it, the deeper I dug. My heartbeat accelerated and aftershocks shadowed me for days. A familiar dread followed me as I entered my office. My concentration dwindled, and I turned to alcohol in search of refuge.

It took me several months to admit to myself and to my loved ones that I needed help. Later, I learned that I had severe anxiety and was prescribed medication. Recovery has been a humbling experience. One of the destructive consequences of burnout was what I experienced during those months. I worked 80+ hours a week at the law firm I had put in the hours to establish. I defined my sense of self based on my professional identity, so I attached my self-worth to my accomplishments.

As a matter of fact, my story is not unique. Over the past few years, we have learned just how common burnout is, and in law, it is especially common. Bloomberg Law reported in May 2021 that 50% of attorneys felt burned out during the first quarter of 2021. The survey found that two-thirds of junior and mid-level associates reported a decline in their overall well-being. Those findings are directly related to the culture we have created in the legal profession — one that values individualism and competition, encourages conflict, and discourages vulnerability. If you are thinking about pursuing a career in this area, here are some tips I wish I had received sooner.

Check out the company culture before taking a job.

If you’re just starting out, it can be difficult to avoid law firms that prioritize billable hours over your personal sanity. It’s important to start your career right. It’s more important to land your first gig than to wait to work for the right company, one that values inclusion, belonging, and worker wellbeing. It will be unsustainable in the long run if you start your career in an environment that doesn’t value you beyond your abilities or that doesn’t care about your psychological wellbeing.

In order to determine whether the organization values work-life balance or promotes burnout, you can ask the hiring manager (or your future peers) the following questions:

  • How would you rate your work-life balance? Why or why not?
  • How does your company handle family and medical leave? Do new parents at your company typically return to work right away?
  • Can you describe a situation that didn’t go as planned, and how management handled it?

Those are all red flags if people are worked to the bone (instead of given flexibility), asked to return to work before their leave is up (instead of being asked to take the full leave), punished for their mistakes (instead of being encouraged to learn from them). Essentially, the goal is to understand how an organization meets its employees’ needs and expectations.

Make sure you don’t ignore your physical triggers.

I can give you the biggest piece of advice: Don’t ignore what your body is telling you. Symptoms of exhaustion include: increased heart rate, headaches, fatigue, palpitations or sweating, and general irritability. These symptoms can manifest gradually or suddenly, as they did for me. Your body shifts into a state of high alert when you’re stressed. This reaction is also referred to as fight or flight. It prepares itself to face or run away from a threat.

Keep an eye out for these triggers during your workday. Small things, such as staying hydrated, breathing deeply for a few seconds, or taking a short walk around your office can help in the moment. However, this is your body telling you to take a break over the long term. Your manager may be able to help you with your workload, or you may want to seek the advice of a medical professional for treatment or coping mechanisms.

Over time, I have learned that even if I can’t afford to take a day off or go on vacation, I can build smaller breaks into my workday to prevent me from losing track of my physical and mental health. Paying attention to what your body needs will make it easier for you to take care of it. If your workplace or manager makes you feel ashamed of your needs, you may need to find another job.

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  • Make sure you have a life outside of work.

It is true that the legal profession can drain you to the max. When you choose to become a lawyer, you are choosing a path that often requires long hours of studying and preparation for each case. Clients can be demanding. Your assignments can start off as relatively low stakes scenarios and shift into stressful high stakes scenarios overnight, depending on a variety of factors.

The emotional exhaustion of working on emotionally fraught cases, such as criminal and family law, can make it difficult to disconnect yourself from your clients’ lives. In order to protect yourself and do your job well, you need to set healthy boundaries at work — and this often means having a life outside of it and a support system.

If you want to reduce the stress of a vacation before and after, plan your time well in advance and make it your personal goal not to cancel it. Start by taking time off at least once or twice a year. When you’re off, turn off (yes, that means unplugging from calls and emails). If you’re concerned you’ll miss out, remember that intentionally taking time off may actually improve your performance and productivity.

If you find that this goal is too big, set a smaller goal: Do something outside of your work that brings you joy. What helps you unwind? For example, going for a walk or taking a yoga class every morning, watching a TV show uninterrupted, having dinner with family at least twice a week. These small commitments will help you expand your social circle, rediscover your interests, and be better (and healthier) at work.

Be kind to yourself.

While striving to achieve perfection is generally good, the danger here is setting unrealistic expectations and being too hard on yourself when you fall short. This cycle of behavior can be linked to depression, anxiety, and other physical and mental health problems. Despite my understanding of the deep desire to win every case and do the right thing by your client(s), I know from experience that this pressure can do more harm than good. Remind yourself that, just like everyone else, you’re doing the best with what you’ve got. You can’t just wave a wand and make things work.

One way you can help yourself in this area is to write down one thing you’re grateful for every day. Give it a try: The next time you lose a case, write down what you learned along the way and why it is meaningful to your growth. The next time a client isn’t happy with you, write down one way you were able to help them (even if you couldn’t get them exactly what they wanted). Or simply reflect on why you are thankful for your support system, family, or friends. Studies show that writing down what we are grateful for can help us sleep better, lower our stress, and improve our relationships with other people.

The last thing you need to remember is that you are not your job. Like me, you might be passionate about what you do, but if you don’t separate it from the rest of your life, you’re likely to burn out. My last piece of advice is to put yourself and your loved ones first. It’s not as delicate as your career. You’ll always have work to do. It’s hard to say the same about your health or your time.

 

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